So I've been traveling a bit for work lately. I'm in operations, so my travel isn't of the high falutin' wining and dining variety, as you would no doubt expect from someone like me. My day typically ends with meatloaf from the local sports bar and maybe a soak in the hotel hot tub...
I don't sleep so well without Kristi next to me, so one of the things I'll do when I would otherwise be sleeping is check out blogs...mostly of people who are friends of my friends here on myspace. I have to say that I've been surprised and a little bummed out by the amount of old school racial/sexual/class stereotypes that are espoused by some folks out there in cyberspace. I read one recently that decried the abuse of welfare, state medical, etc by all those lazy bastards out there, and it brought to mind something that my family experienced not too long ago.
About 2 years ago Kristi and I learned that 2 children of a relative, aged 6 and 10, would be coming to live with us due to some instability in their current home life. We had about 2 hours to prepare for this, and we had no idea how long this situation would last. We set about to make them feel comfortable to the extent that we could in our relatively small 3 bedroom house...we bought bunk beds, started looking into schools, went clothes shopping, and that sort of thing. And we discovered that the youngest really needed to see the dentist.
Now we're not wealthy people. Sure, if you look at my pics it would appear that we're living high on the hog, but the fact is that we're just regular folks, and that meant that we would need the assistance of state medical to ensure that the kids get the care that they deserve. So we embarked on the task of finding a dentist who accepted state medical. I spent the better part of a day calling dentists to find out if they accept it (there isn't a list, you just have to call until you find one) - I called around 30 of them before I found one that would accept it and take a new patient.
When I inquired about setting up an appointment the receptionist told me, verbatim, "we don't make appointments for state medical patients...you come in at 10:00 a.m. and wait until we have an opening". Sounds pretty demeaning just reading it, right? Well, it was stated by this woman in a way that left no doubt as to how she felt about it. When I told her that my wife and I both had jobs and it would be difficult to just leave for the whole day (I had started a new job 4 days prior to this) she didn't even answer...just silence. I then asked if there was at least a guarantee that the child would be seen; the woman said that there would be no guarantee.
Finally I asked if they would schedule an appointment if I could guarantee it with a credit card. The woman brightened and said "Of course!", and an appointment was scheduled quickly. She then told me that "those people" often don't show up for appointments, and that is why they no longer schedule them. I reminded her that I am still one of those people, I just happen to have a credit card, and she laughed and said she understood. And I was pretty sure she didn't.
So, all in all, crisis averted, right? I guess so, in one way. But...what about that single parent who doesn't have the advantages that we do, but they just want to get their kid's teeth taken care of? Say they're in an hourly wage job with an attendance policy that they're held accountable to, and they've got to take an entire day off in the hopes that their child gets seen? Take a minute and imagine the choices they're having to make...and how it makes them feel.
There is nothing more fundamental to a parent than the need to take care of their kids. So you put your head down and show up that day, and endure the derision of the people who work there, and hope your kid gets the care they need. And you hope you don't get fired. And if you do, well, the hole just gets a little deeper.
I did some crying that day, as the reality of this really hit me, but I feel grateful for this experience. I've always said that we live in a society, a community, and we have an obligation to that community, particularly those who may not have had the opportunities or success that we've had. And I really did feel that way too...but until this point I didn't actually understand it in the way that I do now. It's amazing what a different perspective can do for you...
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